I have a secret to tell you: I was born in Indiana. If you don’t think that’s a big secret, it means you’re either unfamiliar with Indiana or you currently live in Indiana and you’re lying to yourself. Thankfully, I’m both familiar with Indiana and not living there. That makes me especially qualified to comment on this Memories Pizza debacle. Keep Reading →
When I worked for the public defender’s office I was a complete pain in the ass. Or, at least I like to think I was. Considering a judge once told me I was “the only roadblock to an otherwise smooth running courtroom,” I probably was.
I pulled out every trick people would teach me. When I ran out of those, I’d invent some of my own and see how they worked. If they rocked, I’d use them until they wouldn’t. If they didn’t, I’d think up something else.
I don’t regret that. Not even a little bit. Keep Reading →
“Sorry to disrupt, but I’m here for Mr. Innocent.”
One of my favorite things to do at this job is to show up at police stations. If a client is inside an interrogation room, manages to wade through the coercive Reed Technique garbage and get a call out to me, I’ll drop almost anything I’m doing and try to get there if I can. It hardly every happens, though.
Cops play all sorts of games to prevent it- despite what the Constitution says.
If I can talk to the cop directly, they’ll do everything they can to interfere. My favorite is when I ask “You’ve arrested Bob Innocent, my client…” to which the response is always, “No, sir, Mr. Innocent has not been arrested“, Because, as you know, even though a man is handcuffed and locked in a police interrogation room, he might be arrested to you or me, but that’s not “arrested” to the cops.
So, you have to say “detained”. That’s the magic cop word that means “arrested” to everybody else. If you don’t use their magic words, they play dumb. Keep Reading →
The Good Old Hockey Game. Its the Best Game You Can Play.
I’m going to let a little secret out here: I play hockey. It’s not a very exciting secret, I know. It probably shouldn’t even be a secret. It is, though. You know why? Because I play hockey poorly. Like, really bad. I’m at the bottom of the talent ladder on a hockey team that’s at the bottom tier of a bottom league at the rink. We’ve got some good skaters, too. We still don’t win. It’s not their fault. Know what I’m saying? Keep Reading →
For years I’ve been saying that legalizing marijuana so we can “tax the stuff” and put the money to good use was a really bad idea. That’s not to say that marijuana should be prohibited. It shouldn’t. That is to say, however, its legalization shouldn’t be championed by people claiming the extra tax revenue would solve the world’s problems. Keep Reading →
Much has been made of these protests lately. Starting with non-indictment for that “incident” (that’s me mocking the way police talk, by the way) in Ferguson, Mo and carrying over into the protests reignited by handling of the police “encounter” (more mockery) of Eric Garner. I’m loving it.
How to get the worst possible sentence… as illustrated by “War Machine”.
“War Machine” seems to be doing everything he can to make sure he’s not only convicted, but locked up for a long, long time. He’s got to be driving his lawyer nuts. This is a classic case of how just about everything you do can and will affect what happens in court.
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I’m working on an appeal. The case was major- with the defendant sitting on a $950,000 bond (meaning, in Illinois, he has to post $95,000). There was a bond reduction hearing because just about nobody sitting on a $95,000 bond can pay that, and the statute says the amount should be only one to reasonably assure the defendant’s appearance at court. Keep Reading →
Light the tree, set off the fireworks and pass out the candy… it’s Columbus Day in America! Today is more than just the day we get to watch Bears/Lions on Monday Night Football. In Canada, of course, they mistakenly call today Canadian Thanksgiving. Although, we don’t really care what they’re doing up in America’s Hat. As I’ve already explained, Canada is backwards. I guess this Thanksgiving/Columbus day mix-up is just Exhibit #2 to that effect. Keep Reading →