Ah, Blago. I thought you were already in prison. Unfortunately it appears that you are not. From what I am reading, though, it looks like you’re going to be all over the news again this week. It seems you have to get the last word in (or, the last word before you’re really not going to be able to get any words in, anyway). I hope they are good.
Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say. You haven’t said anything new in years. It was all a big conspiracy to get you out of the way so they could raise taxes. You told us! Such a shame considering you were such a tax cutting machine when you were in office. I mean, you may have avoided large tax increases on paper, but anybody who received a traffic ticket after you were elected saw how you dipped into their pockets. Some people don’t think traffic court should really be looked at as a way to raise revenue for pet projects… thankfully you weren’t one of them.
Anyhow, Rodlicious, we both have a lot in common. Aside from the fact that I didn’t get a hair cut from October until February (causing more than a few Blago Hair days), I’ve also been thinking about what you should say prior to disappearing (hopefully) from the public eye.
The problem is that I can’t come up with anything. I’m putting myself in your shoes and trying to think what some tv-watching guy like me might want to hear out of your mouth just before you went to prison. I’m thinking that the fact that I can’t think of anything is a sign. It’s a sign that you probably won’t be able to say anything that’s worth my mental energy to hear.
I’ve got an idea, Rod. If you don’t say anything before heading into prison, I won’t say anything about you while you’re there. Deal? Sounds fair to me. It won’t be easy for me to completely forget you (again), but I think I’m man enough to do it. If your “last words” prior to getting caged up are some more of your political babble, that may just be how I remember you. You don’t want that, Rod. See, now, when your name comes up, my memory is forced to playback your election against Jim Ryan. More notably, the most prevalent memory I have of you is Cal Skinner running all over the state with a two headed chicken named “JimRod” taunting both you and Jim Ryan. That is good stuff, Rod. Why would you want to tarnish that memory?
Anyhow, Mr. Blago, I know you’re not going to listen to me. I just wanted to share my feelings with you while you were a free man. Once you get locked up I could only share my feelings by sending you a letter, and I’m not about to waste the cost of a stamp on you.