The police want to talk to you. Maybe they’ve called you. Maybe they’ve stopped by your house. Maybe they’ve even pulled you over and arrested you for DUI. What are you going to do?
Sounds like a tricky situation? Not if you take this splendid advice. Utilize these pro tips and never worry again.
Tip 1: Don’t talk to the police.
Sure, they’re being nice. They just want you to come down to the station “to clarify some things” or answer some questions to “make sure you’re o.k. to drive tonight.” That’s all totally legit as they’d never lie to you, but the smart money says you should just shut up and not help them out (because if you talk, you will).
Tip 2: Don’t talk to the police.
They want your name and identification? Fine. Give it to them. They want to know where you were last night or how many dead people are in your crawl space? Just a thought, but maybe you shouldn’t tell them.
I know it sounds simple, but they’re not just going to come out and ask why 41 kilos of crank are in your pants. Plus, they’re not going to believe you when you say they’re not your pants. So, maybe it’s not best to walk down the path to certain confession. Don’t start talking to them no matter what they tell you they want to know.
Tip 3: Don’t talk to the police.
In case you missed the first two tips, here’s the fail-safe third one. Try it some time. Lawyer up, shut up.
You might want to start writing these down. It’s getting complicated.
Tip 4: Don’t talk to the police.
Have you ever walked into a place you’ve never been, in a city you’ve never seen and been struck with an eerie feeling of familiarity? You know you’ve never been there, but it’s too familiar for you to have not experienced it before? Some call that Déjà vu. I call that Tip 4. Why have you even read this far? Do you not get the point?
Tip 5: Don’t talk to the police.
If you can just go explain yourself you can talk them out of charging you with that murder rap, right? 5 minutes of your slick tongue and they’ll realize you didn’t kill him. Or if you did you did it in self defense. There had to be a great reason. He’s not dead for no reason, right?
Let’s be honest, there are times when you might be able to talk yourself out of something. It’s happened.
Not to you, though. You don’t know what the police know. You don’t know what information they’re really after. Unless you’ve dealt with the police often enough to become fearless around them, you’re out matched. Just don’t.
BONUS Tip 6: Hire a lawyer. Let them talk to the police.
You didn’t pay for 6 tips, but I’m going to give you one anyway. That’s the kind of guy I am. I’m a giver.
It’s a two-part tip, too.
Part 1 of Tip 6: Just don’t talk to the damn police already.
Part 2 of Tip 6: If you’re determined to talk to the police, hire a lawyer to sort it all out for you.
If you enjoyed these tips, be on the lookout for my next post, “The 6 effective legal tips most often ignored (And the 6th tip is a two-part shocker)!”